Wednesday, June 10, 2015

Girly Things That I'm No Good With

My life has been a consistent journey to figuring out how to be a true "girl". I'm an only child so, of course, my Dad always wanted a boy. So guess what kind of toys I got? Trains, cars, I even had a fully-rigged pulley set. I still had a couple barbies here and there and was obsessed with collecting beanie babies like any other 90s kid. I also was never allowed to wear nail polish until I was in middle school, and at that, it was only clear. So now, I'm going to use this as an excuse to explain why I am so very awful at girly things.

The make-up struggle is real. 

I only just bought my first set of brushes...Like two weeks ago. I mean I had a blush brush and one brush for eye shadow, but why do you need so many brushes?! Don't even get me started on eye shadow. I follow those directions and mine never blend that well! I'm a pro at the "au naturale" look. 

Shopping is a big, loud "nope".

Seriously, who treks through a crowded shopping mall, pushes past gaggles of teenagers loitering around, peruses through racks and racks of clothing to find one item of clothing and says, "Today was a fun and successful day!". Well, perhaps a lot of girls do, but definitely not me. If I can buy it online, I will be buying it online. If I have to go into a store, you're definitely not going to find me at a shopping mall. Hence, why I usually shop at Loft because it is a stand alone shop where I live! Also, who wants to go to those dimly-lit fitting rooms, actually touch your bare feet to some nasty carpet that thousands of other sweaty bare feet have touched, and try out twenty outfits that probably don't work with the bra that you're wearing. Nope.

Cooking for your man.

Hah, jokes. First things first, I'm not very well versed in the art of the kitchen to begin with. I was extremely stubborn when I lived at home and refused to pay attention to anything that my mom was making. So my kitchen skills include the usual Mac & Cheese, Ramen, Quesadilla, and then my one go-to recipe of Soy Salmon. I'm also a perfectionist, so if something goes wrong when I'm cooking, I take it extremely personal (instead of just blaming Pinterest for a crap recipe) and refuse to cook ever again. So no, the whole being romantic and cooking for your significant other only ends up giving me anxiety and being quite un-romantic.


I don't know if this is a usual thing for most girls, but if you were in a sorority (like me) then you better know how to craft. I hope that paddle for your big is the cutest thing in history, or else. Excuse me, you didn't paint a 40 quart cooler for your formal date? OMG no way!

Now, since I'm out of college, it's all about re-purposing old furniture. Do real people actually do these things or is it just for a good instagram? I try to avoid Home Depot as much as possible. 

Please don't hug me.

If we just met, I definitely don't want to hug you. If you're having a bad day, I'll get you a tissue, but no hugs. If you're saying goodbye for a trip, Bon voyage, have a good trip! I'm super awkward about giving hugs. Literally! Even with my best friends, they get waves. No need for all that unnecessary touching. Also, when I hug girls most of the time, my face ends up getting smothered in their bosom which isn't particularly enjoyable for me. 

Uncomfortable shoes, or just, heels in general. 

Why are all my friends so tall and I'm so short? I have an unnecessary amount of photos where I'm about a foot shorter than the rest of my crew because I refused to wear heels. I don't know about you, but if I'm out on the town and trying to have a good time, I am definitely wearing comfortable shoes. The majority of the time, heels don't fall into that category for me. Wedges, I'm down with, but I typically only wear those in the summer. I need some short friends for the winter. If my feet hurt, I'm grumpy and I just refuse to subject myself to that torture.

Who's with me? What "girly" things are you bad at? or am I alone?

Linking up with Humpday Confessions.

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